Fear of Failure and Rejection
Remember the old adage, Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never harm me? We know that is not entirely true. Some of our earliest memories may be of someone laughing at us or belittling us in some way.
Enter Rejection. Rejection does hurt.
Another early memory may be of getting a D or F on our report card. Some of us can’t even live with less than an A. To get a B would be a blow, and to be awarded a C would be slipping into the abyss. (I suppose perfectionism should have been part of this series!)
Enter Failure. Failure does hurt.
Failure and rejection can turn our world upside down. And just the fear of failure or rejection can keep us paralyzed from moving forward.
But first...
Be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might!
There is a Promised Land appointed for each of us. We have an assignment, a calling, a destiny to fulfill. The giants of failure and rejection that occupy that land have to go!
However, we have choices to make in the fulfillment of our destiny. In the Bible account of Numbers 13:27-30, twelve spies were sent to scope out the Promised Land. Ten came back with a fearful report of giants in the land, but Joshua and Caleb returned confident that they could take those giants.
Will you be like Joshua and Caleb or like the other 10 spies whose names we can’t remember?
“This was their report to Moses: ‘We entered the land you sent us to explore, and it is indeed a bountiful country—a land flowing with milk and honey. Here is the kind of fruit it produces. But the people living there are powerful, and their towns are large and fortified. We even saw giants there, the descendants of Anak! The Amalekites live in the Negev, and the Hittites, Jebusites, and Amorites live in the hill country. The Canaanites live along the coast of the Mediterranean Sea and along the Jordan Valley.’
But Caleb tried to quiet the people as they stood before Moses. ‘Let’s go at once to take the land,’ he said. ‘We can certainly conquer it!'”
Let’s agree with Caleb. We can certainly conquer what keeps us from moving forward with our desire. Let’s do some giant-killing today and take our land!
Failure
Failure is generally thought of as negative. But it is very useful on the road to success.
Definition of Failure
According to Oxford Languages, failure is defined as follows:
- lack of success
- the omission of expected or required action
Benefits of Failure
Failure shows us what doesn’t work or only partially works. It helps us improve and perfect our project. It builds patience and perseverance. It opens up new horizons to explore, pushing us in a direction we may not have thought of before.
Even failure that is entirely due to our wrong choices in life can be turned around for good by God when we seek Him and repent! This is good news for those of us who don’t feel like we deserve success after our miserable failures.
Great Advice!
I can’t remember who it was, but I heard someone teach on the Law of 100, which inspired me to not give up easily.
In a nutshell it goes like this. In whatever you are trying to accomplish, give it 100 tries. If the idea were mine, I probably would have set it way lower. But 100 gives me many chances to try, and it forces me to push when I would give up. It gives me hope. It forces me to become more excellent in my endeavor because repetition brings opportunity to get better and better.
I don’t know about you, but I need lots and lots of room, and the Law of 100 gives this to me. You may want to research it for yourself. And to encourage you even more, always remember that it took Thomas Edison 1,000 attempts to create the light bulb. I love those big numbers!
Do Not Fear Failure
Writing this almost makes me excited about failure. It puts backbone in me to courageously try, unashamedly risk and go out on a limb to make happen what God has placed on my heart!
I will not hide in the winepress threshing wheat when God says to lead an army (See Judges 6:11) or fulfill whatever my calling is. How about you? Will you take the risk to do what God is calling you to do?
Rejection
Now that we’ve seen that we don’t have to drown in failure, in fact can come out better because of it, let’s tackle rejection. Somehow rejection is more personal than failure. When someone rejects us, it feels like they are rejecting our very person. Our very value as a legitimate human being seems to be in question.
We might be so afraid of being delegitimized as a person or perhaps are so injured from past rejection that we completely shun the person God made us to be in favor of fashioning ourselves into what others will accept.
Who Am I Really?
I think many of us don’t truly know who we are because we’ve stuffed our true personality far deep inside. We may have innocently portrayed our real self long ago in childhood, only to be shamed or scolded. Or perhaps later we wished to follow a path that well-meaning authorities criticized. So we fell into line with what would NOT make us stand out and be different.
The real or potential consequences of not fitting in, of being rejected, won the day.
Now I’ve fashioned a self who is at least somewhat, if not totally, accepted. I am miserably unhappy but socially accepted.
And the light of my real self is dim and barely noticeable.
Can You Find Your True Self?
It’s still there. God hasn’t forgotten what He created you to be. On the potter’s wheel, He will again mold you. His plans and purposes will stand when you align yourself with them!
Let that light flicker and grow into a flame. Listen for His voice. Seek Him in His Word. He will speak to bring you into all He has for you.
Will You Release Your True Self?
There is a comedian I like named JP Sears. He is giving a Tedx Talk here called Saying YES! to your Weirdness, and he wraps up this section on Rejection so nicely. He is not a believer, so don’t be put off by a couple things he says. Even one 4-letter word. Sorry.
He asks what it is about some people that inspire you. According to JP, we get inspired when we see others risking being themselves.
Will you release your real self? The real self God made you to be? Throw rejection to the wind. Tackle what God is calling you to!
Final Thoughts
Some Things That Stand Out To Me
-Failure shows us what doesn’t work; helps us improve and perfect our project; builds patience and perseverance; and opens up new horizons to explore, pushing us in a direction we may not have thought of before.
-Many of us don’t truly know who we are because we’ve stuffed our true personality far deep inside. It’s still there. God hasn’t forgotten what He created us to be.
Wrapping It Up
I trust you were influenced to push past your obstacles of failure and rejection. In Part 4 of our series, we’ll talk about success. Can we handle success?
Let me know below how you face failure and rejection. Leaving a comment blesses me, encourages others and builds my rating. Thank You!
And keep coming back to my blog.
Read the previous posts in this series:
And the last post in this series:
- Part 4 – Can I handle the success of my new thing?
